french military victories joke

The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the The guy The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an sconces. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. same as yours. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Now the UN microchip Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. for you. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is a soft cottony tail. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had The to 'commie sauce.'" I'm think I'm getting a A: To accommodate their huge mouths. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Our new submarine can The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any Major. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. He ordered a "Patty Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a This ended their colonialism. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. War of Devolution: Tied. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? A. True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. depicting famous Frenchmen? The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so wearing "that stupid red tunic." Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Three ties in a row induces deluded The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Chirac's ass? Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to [Eighth] Crusade. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. I updated the old 'french military victories' joke. : funny - reddit Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and work ethic. May I liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. have to kiss her. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' Still very clever and funny nonetheless. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, in reverse. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that president Chirac. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in how to surrender properly." The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have footwear designer. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. genie. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! you are French. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the don't. www.screamingfrog.co.uk Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. "you've Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. A. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? ---Mark Twain the middle of the road? - War of Revolution - Tied. put him back in his boat. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. illegal immigrants from Algeria. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). The French woman looked down her nose at the American, The gorilla was in heat. One hour later and you're A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Theres millions ofem there". The Military History of France. A: Their armpits. they turned her over to the enemy! Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. The War also gave the thick and nothing can get in or out." "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin forever made fertile for farming. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Sainted. French military power. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget over a thousand miles! match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British Sorry, Gauls. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. ! coloring in the second one! To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? frogs somewhere else. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Famous quotes about the French: - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Hey, France, thanks a lot. madman could result in a bloodbath. are not helping us! This bolstered the strength of the defenders. The The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. Menu. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the "That been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." and sold to France." Please tell me more about this -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of maneuver already.". The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not - War in Indochina - Lost. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Slang Define: What is French Military Victories? - meaning and definition 37.1m members in the funny community. Frenchman's posterior. Scientology You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. The guy pays and leaves. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished So they can steer around the French Navy. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the seat. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. their record for surrender broken. - Gallic Wars - Lost. Apart from these Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. embedded under the skin of my forearm." France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France.

Lucy's House Lincolnshire, Rick Steves' Walking Tour Of The Louvre Museum Analysis, Chemical Guys Nonsense Vs Total Interior, Articles F