why do serial cheaters want to stay married

Still, there are men who hope to stay married because they truly love their wives and want to work things out. Q:Do you think you had different reasons for entering into it than your affair partner did? Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Their past behavior is a good indication of future behavior. Serial Cheater - Signs, Personality Traits, & How to Deal with Them I did know there was something wrong as after a week of his trip, which was the time she arrived to see her parents, he was being cold and uncaring, which before she got there, he was calling, telling me he loved me, missed me asking about his children etc, then a change just like that. Cheaters tend to take stock in the reverse. Serial cheaters are good at avoiding established patterns or routines in a relationship, Kevin Darn, dating expert and author of My Cat Won't Bark! Maybe thats why Im always married, lol. Why Do Serial Cheaters Want to Stay Married? Attending couples therapy can help you mend the relationship. Thats our battle. In all honesty I am nervous a out replying, because this teeters dangerously close to blaming which I avoid at all costs. Marriages only exist because of the level of respect and commitment each partner has for the other. The pig is there wallowing in the mud with other pigs. Serial Cheaters - Compulsive Cheating Signs & Treatments Options For most I believe they have something lacking in their own character and it makes then easy prey for an affair. Or is the emotional damage just too deep? We are older with grown children, I know if I was younger he would be gone!! He stands to lose too much if he leaves. She would whimper to men flirting about how having a husband and four boys was too much men. Dont care that these men are married, dont care they turn the attention away. Now if youre a pig to begin with you dont mind wallowing in the mud with other pigs (ie in my Hs OW case, shes a pig, she knows shes a pig) but nice, decent, conscientious women like you arent pigs you just werent using good judgement and you allowed yourself to be swept off your feet. So learn as much as can in order to make an informed decision and follow that path that feels most right to you. Lets take a look at some of the most common answers to this big confusing question Why do cheating husbands stay married to their wives? There is an awesome book called Quiet that describes the incredible value introverts have to offer, especially in terms of future innovation and contributions to society. Detective Gomez, of the Gomez Detective Agency, lists a few potential warning signs of a cheating partner, including: Changes in appearance. To me, it has always been a tremendous violation of the girl code even to flirt with a man who is taken. They are just simply enjoying the temporary attraction from the other women and letting the marriage relationship be a permanent one. 7 Things To Note If You Have A Cheating Partner, How To Cope With Anxiety After Husbands Affair, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity. Anyone with half a brain knows that most of us women feel unsure of ourselves in such a situation. All of us hear have been played to one extent or another and its not funny. Leave, divorce then single will be for the taking. Chaos can feel like passion. (I mean, the stereotype is that men want the variety that another woman provides and that women embark on this path because their husbands cannot meet their emotional needs.). For others, they'll give their partner a few more chances before they decide it's finally time to go. So, if someone has almost one of these traits, but at a very low level, and if he makes a very conscious effort NOT to allow these traits to rule his life or take over his better judgement, then he might not cheat. He some balls asking you to keep his secret. It's easy to do because they're eerily good at it. How effective are brass knuckles for self defense? They think society's rules don't apply to them, i.e., they are sociopathic narcissists. Your eating patterns are disturbed. You doubt everything your spouse has ever told you. I was working on my laptop and suddenly my sons male dentist was standing in front of me grinning. Oops, should say say not see. Well everyone, just over two years ago, I probably though we would never have made it to this day, that was when the ea had started. Think twice about giving a second chance when: Your partner had an affair with an ex-partner. I did it all by myself. Your Hs OW was definitely a predator. Why do serial cheaters want to STAY MARRIED even after confrontation She cried on her way out! I would tell him it would behoove him to be totally honest. It will be just a matter of what your personal threshhold for pain . Weve all acted with boorish behavior, the trick is knowing and acknowledging it, accepting it and change. Same here. We do things as husband and wife, but I an tell we are not intimately connected. He doesn't want to lose half of his money through a messy divorce. You can nail his foot to the floor, develop ironclad guidelines, and you can show objective evidence that he is at fault. So I think he was just going back to his old behaviors that he carried on with when I wasnt here. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. I caught onto her very early. I didnt stand up for myself, I believed my lying h over my vomiting body and I let myself down as much as he let me down. Quite honestly I know exactly how you feel. Heres the mistake that the wife made. By the way, my best friend of thirty years said the same thing about taking the B out to the parking lot to settle it once and for all. Personally I believe its the latter. But, I can bet you money that if he would have left to be with her, just being with her would be a hell worse than anything Dante could have imagined. Because you havent taken strong steps: Some people are just cheating because their partner hasnt taken any strong steps against them. Seriously, dude??? The ow that does this, definitely not stupid by any means, they know exactly what they are doing. You have given us insight into what the cs thinks and feels about the ap, from the beginning and to the end. Therefore, he doesnt believe theres any reason for his wife to find out. This could be alcohol, drugs, gaming, or gambling. The other ones he keeps for himself. She has to see that he has no interest in her, but his own family. There is something broken for sure. It may reflect future behavior. Inside The Mind Of A Serial Cheater (And The Truth About Whether Or Not A List of Habits Most Cheaters Have in Common - Insider People dont value cheating much when it happens before marriage, but it becomes more sinful when its done after a marriage relationship. They also may enjoy living two separate lives. She does not care if this childrens lives are turned upside down, due to becoming a child of divorce, and now I am speaking of my own ow, to have placed her own children, who i am sure had a hard time coming to terms with her own separation from their dad, to jump straight away into a relationship with a mm, and not truly see the damage she is causing her own children as well, because she cant stay without a man, it is just selfish. I know sometimes when I write about the ow in my life, I get so frustrated and upset, after a while. A meeting that led to kiss that led on eventually to two affairs probably wouldnt have happened if Id been married. Once you are gone, he (your h) is going to feel like he was hit by a ton of bricks and then run over by several monster trucks. They start to rewrite and make up alternative histories to excuse their behavior. How do you put a face to infidelity? Changes in work responsibilities. (I mean, the stereotype is that men want the variety that another woman provides and that women embark on this path because their husbands cannot meet their emotional needs.). It could seem like the best of both worlds. The lows are low and the highs are high! Someone who knows who you are and likes who you are. As there are no plans of exit and they don't have any powerful path where they can stay, they just manage to understand their partner and stay married. Very openly complimentary. Displaces blame: This man constantly displaces the blame onto others when he is clearly the person at fault. Over 60% of men who have an extramarital affair, however, say they never seriously imagined . BTW you and Eyes are not one of the PIGS. Sometimes those folks who are the life of the party and all affable on the outside are dealing with a lot of demons on the inside and unfortunately you werent privy to those but you can bet the wife was. I do not know how you held out 6 months. People from all sorts of backgrounds and with all types of personality are capable of cheating. My h did send his whore a birthday card and trinket along with a card with comment s that will make you blush after he told me he wanted to be married to me. My hope is that the affair was the catalyst for them to work on a marriage that clearly wasnt dead (as has happened with my h and I ). Theyve been there, done that and did not like it. It could have turned out so different. In short, getting them to change is going to be quite the challenge. Yeah well she was fired after oh about 6 months. Her finances take a hit. Do not give one single day to cousin It and her selfishness and meanness. I bet she is lovely and I would like to say hello. So, he sheepishly brought me over to his wife (who was in another part of the complex with her female friend) and I chatted with her, ignoring him, talking about mom stuff, and making it subtly known that I am not a threat. He doesnt want to leave his home, his family, and the life that hes grown accustomed to. Who is likely to be a repeat philanderer? The most common reason is unmet needs in their marriage. Weight loss and improvement in your appearance (sign ). We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. For her crap. Only people who have been in such a hurtful situation can understand the deep and damaging pain this can cause. I know my h ow, would never grow a conscience, she would never apologise, she will always believe that she was in the right to do what she did. She told him to call the ow suspect on a speakerphone and he had to say the following : Ive just told xxx (my wife) everything. Now, hes not way too friendly with all of them primarily the pretty ones. To me it all concurs. A: We started working on lots of projects together (over a 3 yr period) and the more we worked together the more success we had so our ideas and projects were supported by our boss and peers. Possiblymany couples do. Thats the truth. Sarah, Thankyou very much, so sweet of you to say. A: I think she needed to be more present in his life . So staying married seems like the best option, at least for now. Michelle Brown. Again, it's a time of wild sex fuelled by this pain and the emotiona. I dont plan to be a cheater ever again though, it just doesnt even interest me. Now, my husband thinks, that because she lives with her boyfriend and owns a house with him, that she is lonely to have another couple to befriend. Those who are likely to have multiple affairs possess one or more of these traits, which take a starring role in their personalities. She found a note Id given him which he kept in his work book. Do you think youll ever be able to forgive and trust him? He had gone to rehab, found God, found a wonderful beautiful woman, had a successful business and yet through all the positive things that he had in his life and also realized what he had lost previously, he managed to find his way back to the gutter. Ohhh and then she would go psycho, because of course he wouldnt turn his phone off for her, I must have done something to him. But if you've caught your partner once and you're wondering if they're going to do it again, these habits can help you figure out which category of cheater they fall under. (Lets say I know the difference between friendly and interested and I am not an ego-maniac who believes every man who talks to me has an agenda far from it). Hes comfortable or attached to the way things are, 7. But the most dangerous one is a Serial Cheater.They will cheat again and again but still want to stay married. Serial cheaters like your husband and my ex like cake. Its important to point out that not every unfaithful spouse has a personality disorder, nor does every spouse with some degree of personality disorder engage in infidelity. Its all he knows and his marriage is a safe place for him. Share on Facebook One-time cheaters will back their words up with actions. Yes she played a huge role as facilitator but he was a willing victim. You tend to believe that if they dont answer their phone or if they are coming home late, they must certainly be with this other person. They will. In other words, theyre gifted with charm and rhetoric and what to say, others not so much. 8) They act on impulse. When we talk about the ow, Im sure you know we are not meaning you, your one of us, really, you have been seeking out help and support, just like us, just a little bit on different sides of the fence. That said, some people hold a rather controversial point of view that you can be in love and still cheat. Why Do Married Men Cheat And Stay Married? - Dr. Karen Finn After going through that experience, I am now keenly aware that it is possible even if a relationship appears to be wonderful. Eyes Strong, confident folks? Considering the above, there can be little hope that serial cheaters can ever truly be changed. All rational thinking gets shoved out the window, when they dont want to see whats right in front of them. While not all risk-takers are serial cheaters, people who have difficulties controlling impulses may be more likely to cheat. Why do serial cheaters want to stay married? It doesnt matter what job you have (or the ap has) there will always be another you or another him and it will happen again until you wont allow it to happen again.

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